Cheaters beware! The hackers of the infamous Ashley Madison dating website for the married and already attached made it clear that it will expose you if it does not willingly shut down. This could be earth shattering for all of its members.

But what about exposing the other type of cheating…the type that can be equally devastating. The type that create such fantasies as being Lewinsky’d by Kevin Spacey. What! What!

DVR and Netflix cheating was a trivial, yet popular subject a couple of years ago used as fodder from morning talk shows and bloggers alike.  But, no one really talks about its effects these days. In my experience, this is some serious shit! It really can be the “a small, most insidious betrayal” if you are not careful.

I am often publicly shamed for, STILL, not have viewed ALL seasons of Breaking Bad. Frankly, I’m not interested in Mr. White and his meth adventures. What I am interested in is the television and movies I WANT TO WATCH but CANNOT watch “yet” because I have to be a good girlfriend and wait for my boyfriend to have time to watch it with me. Ugh.

“So why don’t you watch them anyway?” Because of the face he made a few months ago after admitting (SPOILER ALERT!) I watched the last episode of Game of Thrones (season 5). He was sleeping. I should have sported a better game face when, days later, he “stumbled upon” news about Jon Snow’s fate. I’m not a very good liar.

I respect my sweetheart’s hours of hard work and his beautiful, creative mind. But his success has started to take its toll. These past few months, I’ve grown tired of the repeated (and cruelly edited) cable TV episodes of Sex in the City (he abhors their “constant babbling.”) He’s not a fan of horror movies (my fave) but SyFy channel blows and the horror genre in general needs a boost (save for future blog). And, social media doesn’t help. Facebook and Twitter photos depicting a daunting Vince Vaughn and forlorn Colin Farrell from this season’s True Detective have been torture.

Last week, I broke down.

I finally watched a movie we’ve been dying to see since it was released…LAST YEAR!

He heard me laughing and enjoying our threesome devised with seductive recipes and a bangin’ soundtrack…

Being foodies, when we heard about the success of Chef, we immediately put it on our watchlist. Four hundred and ten days later, I made the move to sleep with Jon Favreau and Sofia Vergara …while he was in the other room. He heard me laughing and enjoying our threesome devised with seductive recipes and a bangin’ soundtrack — including a brass band version of Marvin Gaye’s Sexual Healing. He heard it all.

Soon after Jon, Sofia and I reached food orgasm and the credits rolled, it was time to face the music. That look of betrayal inside those green eyes turned out to be more than I could handle. I spent the next few hours creating the perfect apology:  Pernil Asado Con Mojo

If you didn’t know already, one of the key cuisines in Chef is Mojo Pork Cubanos, the staple sandwich from the El Jefe food truck. The sandwich is super easy to make. However, the roasted pulled pork must be prepared with a 900 billion garlic cloves, sour oranges (what the ‘eff’?), freshly squeezed lime juice, and soaked overnight. Twenty-four hours to be exact. Pretty intense for someone who has the patience of a chopping block.

But, thanks to Pandora‘s “Cuban All-Stars” radio, I got through the prep quicker than expected. And while the meat soaked, I had a day to create the rest of the menu.

Fried Plantanos Maduros y Totstones

Long Grain Rice with Quinoa and Black Beans

The pork roasted for 4 to 5 hours. I dressed with remaining Mojo marinade.

And the rest…

Mini cubanos with boiled ham, pork, w (quesadilla-style) and pineapple & avocado salad (red onion and orange juice vinaigrette)

So…pretty effin’ cool, right? We dined with the movie soundtrack as our musical backdrop. And, the leftovers lasted throughout the week. I believe I was forgiven in more ways than one so the movie tryst was totally worth it.

A recent study of 2,000 adults revealed that 51 percent said they would stream a program alone even after having promised to watch it together. With that in mind, I’m looking forward to (role) playing ‘cards’ with Kevin Spacey as his Madame Secretary. Any food trucks near the White House?